Not that there's any relationship between the posting of the HP blog and my own thoughts posted late last week, but at the same time that I was extolling the virtues of antidepressant medication, Dr. Mark Hyman, MD, was decrying the scandalous deceptions of the same. You can read his entire post here.
But you really don't need to read all 1596 words of his massive missive. The opening lines tell the tale:
Here's some depressing recent medical news:Antidepressants don't work. What's even more depressing is that the pharmaceutical industry and Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have deliberately deceived us into believing that they DO work.
OK, here's the thing... In the interests of full disclosure... I am not a medical doctor. My doctorate is in the field of theology. So perhaps this disqualifies me from rendering an opinion on the good doctor's words.
BUT, I am a depression survivor. I have lived with this particular "thorn in the flesh" for some 17 years. Brought on, BTW, by several contributing factors: Depression runs in my family. Over the years of unrelenting ministry, hearing scores of personal problems that I am powerless to fix, I know that I burned myself out emotionally. My temperament from birth has leaned toward the melancholy. And there are no doubt chemical unbalances that have only exacerbated my tendency to drift toward the sadder side of the emotional spectrum. AND I AM THE RICHER FOR IT!
I cannot quote medical literature. I can only quote my own personal experience. May I be blunt? Without antidepressant medication, over time I become consumed with suicidal thoughts. There. I said it. I am not proud of it. I am ashamed of it. But it's true. AND, I have come to realize that my suicidal thoughts are NOT selfish in their orientation, as some would have us all believe. When I am at rock bottom, when life looks to be hopelessly dark, when I become a drag on the members of my dear and beloved family, I reason (faulty reasoning, of course) that they would be better off without me emotionally pulling them down with me. In those dark moments, thoughts of suicide seem to me to be the most loving and selfless of acts, motivated by an almost irresistible desire to bring some semblance of closure to the pain that I am causing those nearest and dearest to me. (Again I say loudly and clearly, I know that my reasoning in those desperate moments is significantly skewed.)
That's what happens without antidepressant medication. With the medication, I am able to realize some semblance of emotional stability. Common sense takes over. I can once again think clearly. Even to the point of writing a post like the one you are reading now.
Believe me, I should know. Stung by the stigma Christians often attach to antidepressant medication, I have tried on several occasions to wean myself off of the medicine. "I'm feeling really good," I tell myself. "It has been weeks since my last episode," I reason. "I can do this without a medicinal crutch," I think. And I can... For about 3 weeks. And then, wham! I'm back down in the hole, falling into a pit in which there is no bottom.
So with all due respect to Dr. Hyman, I could not disagree more. Antidepressant medication, administered and monitored by my wonderful Christian doctor, has literally saved my life. And for His gifts of a loving and supportive family who just want Dad to be happy, a caring doctor, and the medical technology that provides me with the medication I need, I thank my God. Daily.
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2 comments:
Wow, Dewey! Appreciate your willingness to share your heart and put a difficult topic on the table. Because of differing views amongst Christians, it is not without some cost that you share. Thanks for your courage and boldness to speak head on about a hard issue. I've traveled a similar path over the past 10 years. Just recently finding some footing!
Dewey,, I just love your honesty. I couldn't agree with you more here because I live it . I have had the same thoughts and like I said on FB,, I wouldn't be here today without antidepressents. ADHD which I have and I think you said you do too? .. often comes with depression, and sometimes is comorbid with other things like anxiety, or OCD. Were you ever officially diagnosed? (You can e-mail me personally if you don't want to talk about this on here.I have no shame or common sense sometimes about sharing things about myself.) I am terrible with filters (if you haven't noticed). I speak quickly and sometimes the next day,, I realize what I said and regret it. Thats why I fear being in groups of people. I am deathly afraid I will say something wrong. I dont' do human politics well. It has caused a lifetime of depression and I have felt like I never "fit in " . My mind processes what I say and what others say slower. My mind never stops going in all directions.. creativity blasts out,, questions,, dreams,, all sorts of things,,, So I apologize for my blabbing that sometimes has no good organization or direction. I am working on this and pray about it a lot. It is a struggle. But if you haven't read anything on ADHD,, you owe it to yourself to do so. (You probably allready have and know all about it.) Of course depression is a biological occurance and so is ADHD. They have the brain scan data to prove it. There will always be someone who will poke a whole in someones theory. Science can always be disproved and is forever changing. I welcome any new science and look at it as a constant puzzle. It took me years to decide to try ADHD meds and antidepresents. I have never looked back. Some people may see it as a weakness,, that I should be able to beat it on my own with exercize etc. If I could,,, I would have. I tried for years and years and years. If it is a placebo effect that is helping me,, then power to the placebo I say! :) The Reality is that Depression is a serious , very real and terrible thing. (And you need not ever be ashamed of "feelings". Although I have been there too. My hubby when I confided in him for the first time that I was suicidal and depressed for the first time years ago, asked me "why on earth are you depressed? You have a great life,, what do you have to be depressed about? Don't I give you enough? ".... it made the depression worse I have to say. .HA ! But he honestly didn't understand. And he was right,, I KNEW I was so blessed and had everything I needed in life). So please,,, keep sharing your stories. It helps others who might be going thru the same thing but are afraid to speak out. ADHD has its benefits you know! Honest thoughts flow out at breakneck speed without a thought! I have had several people who say I have "changed their lives" just by openening up about my depression and ADHD because they have been having the same thing but have hidden it and been afraid to ask for help. (I am sure there are others including myself who wish I had been born with a mute button) But to you I say,, keep on blabbin! I love your honest posts. Thanks for sharing this. Its nice to know I am not alone.
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